My mother died one year ago, today.
Death. Mortality. “What happens next?”
To my mother. To me.
Excerpted and adapted from “Moments of Being”, by Virginia Woolf:
It is only by putting life into words that I make myself whole ; this wholeness means that death has lost its power to hurt me ; writing gives me, perhaps because in doing so, I take away pain, and it’s a great delight putting severed parts together. Perhaps this is the strongest pleasure known to me. It is the rapture I get when in writing I seem to be discovering what belongs to what ; making a scene come right ; making a character come together.
From this I reach what I might call a philosophy ; at any rate it is a constant idea of mine ; that behind the universe is hidden a pattern ; that we–I mean all human beings–are connected with this ; that the whole world is a work of art ; that we are parts of the work of art. Hamlet or a Beethoven quartet is the truth about this vast mass that we call the universe. But there is no Shakespeare, there is no Beethoven ; certainly and emphatically there is no God ; we are the words ; we are the music ; we are the universe itself.
And I see this when I have a shock.
Why am I shocked?
Because Virginia Woolf sounds like Peter Townshend’s “The Who’s Tommy”, currently playing currently playing at the Nederlander on Broadway?
Tommy:
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me.
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me.
Listening to you I get the music.
Gazing at you I get the heat.
Following you I climb the mountain.
I get excitement at your feet!
Right behind you I see the millions.
On you I see the glory.
From you I get opinions.
From you I get the story.
I am in shock because this thinking (and music) is redolent of theoretical physics.
No, not Oppenhemier’s theoretical physics that brought us the bomb. Not the theoretical physics that has brought us AI. No, it is the theoretical physics that brings us knowledge regarding human intelligence and how we think. The theoretical physics that explores how and why are humanly intelligent is “out”, and the theoretical physics that explores how and why machines are artificially intelligent is “in”.
Everything comes from discovering, deciphering, decoding if you will—information. Birds do it, bees do it, even LLMs and fine quenettes** do it—
Let’s do it. Let’s be Con-duits.
Conduits: physical manifestations of infinite information.
Woolf, Oppenheimer, Townshend and John Williams are conduits that have discovered, deciphered and “decoded”, just like you and I do every day (with varying degrees of success and social influence).
I’d rather hear this:
than this:
The Shock, of Silence.
My mother died one year ago, today.
Death. Mortality. “What happens next?”
To my mother. To me.
Notes:
**Thanks to an LLM:
What Does Name “Quenette” Mean
You have a fine mind, and you like to talk. A relationship with unknown forces gives you secret strength and an air of mystery. You are deep. You seem to know what people think. You are diplomatic and know how to keep secrets. You attract money. You can be very unusual in habits and interests. Emergencies may raise your intuitive abilities in order to resolve conflict or situation. You become very creative under the pressure, and have quite original ideas to make the best out of it.
Position and social status is very important for you and you are always looking for way to improve your position in society. You have power and ability to chose your own destiny and achieve anything you want in life. You can expand in any direction according to your will and the set of values. You have passion for justice and belong to the position of authority. You have an inherent courage and endurance to accomplish “The Impossible Dream”. With the power comes responsibility. You hold keys to the material world, but with this gift comes high spiritual responsibility to be fair and true to others. You are philosophical and mature, determined and intense with a desire to endure, often religious.